'e' is for iguana as 'g' is for zero

2012-01-14T17:56:00.001+08:00

2010-08-28T00:22:00.000+08:00

Because I fly
I laugh more than other men
I look up an see more than they,
I know how the clouds feel,
What it's like to have the blue in my lap,
to look down on birds,
to feel freedom in a thing called the stick...

who but I can slice between God's billowed legs,
and feel then laugh and crash with His step
Who else has seen the unclimbed peaks?
The rainbow's secret?
The real reason birds sing?
Because I Fly,
I envy no man on earth.

- Grover C Noorwood

2010-08-22T17:15:00.001+08:00

oh look, its a day before my birthday and i didnt even realise it.

19th august 2010. a few weeks now stand between it being the most important birthday of my life... or not.

im now in tamworth, australia. its my 4th day here and im still trying to get acustomed to everything. The place is nice. though inland, it is rather scenic, with vast endless blue skies, breathtaking sunsets and beautiful night skies.

so far the weathers been cold and for the first time in my life, i feel really sick because of the weather. was having quite a bad headache yesterday but it has gotten better after lots of water and some rest.

im also getting used to the gf not being around. i really miss her so much. it has been only 4 days. i thought i’d be okay after staying overseas for 2 years but i think im too attached to her to not think about it so much. will time change things? thats probably another topic for another time.

right now, all thats on my mind is flying.

we already met or saw most of the instructors. i wonder who will be taking me. actually to me it doesnt really matter as long as i remember the stuff that im supposed to and not blank out. sounds easy huh? its not.

happened a few times during mental flying. im so mentally drained everytime i mental fly. it IS fortunate though that we are in australia and the good thing about that is the FOOD!

im quite a small eater but the food here is absolutely good! i think im eating twice of my normal consumption compared to singapore. the scales dont lie - 75kg!!!

i just pray that i pass this AGC with flying colours (pun intended) and get back to Singapore soon so i can see you :)

2010-05-19T13:00:00.002+08:00

i think i have been learning patience over this past one year.

it used to be that whatever i wanted was so within reach, coming so easily (no pun intended).

after being in customer relations, juggling customers while doing my part time degree, i have learnt much (shall not go into the nitty gritty)

learning to wait for the things you want makes getting it so much more worthwhile. my office is located in taiseng, which is near paya lebar airbase. most occasions when i step out of the train station, ill see a c-130 flying past or just about to land.

it will remind me about my application to the airforce and how to practice patience.

i applied to be a pilot about a year and a half ago. pretty long especially if youre waiting for a job confirmation. i had to be put through a few tests such as psychomotor/aptitude test (airforce calls this the COMPASS test), the medical exam and finally the interview. in overview, if you look at it, it WOULD seem pretty fast.

Why the long wait you ask? Okay, firstly it took 3 months 'for my application to be processed'. After i went down to take the 6 hr test i had to wait another maybe 4 more months for the results. then i was scheduled to go for a medical exam, which even measures how wide your ass is (to see if you can fit into a cockpit).

Through that medical exam, the doctor 'suspected' something wrong with my liver as it was 'bigger than usual'. so, they scheduled an ultrasound for me at NUH. during the scan it was found that my liver was perfectly fine and that i could continue to binge drink. however, the scan results showed that i had a slightly inflammed gall bladder and even though the staff at NUH said that i need not remove it, doctors at aeromedical centre were not taking chances.

so the self sponsored operation took place early this year, about a year after my application. after recovery, i was sent to do an eye test to see if i could undergo PRK (some sort of treatment similar to LASIK but not) and at around the same time i also passed my interview. By God's grace everything is okay and just awaiting the approval of my university results.

The 'approval of results' is because i just got my degree and i have to use my degree to enter the airforce. i am overaged so i cannot use my diploma to enter. the complicated thing now is that the government churns out a list of which universities are recognised each year and i am waiting for their approval, if not just like that, i am out. i am also in a race against time because if i do not get confirmed by August (my birthday) i am totally out because the age cap is 27 and i will turn 28 come august.

So being a rather impatient person, i have learnt that patience and perseverance helps me envision my goals and makes me treasure what i have. i also have learnt to be more patient with the girlfriend as she is sometimes a LITTLE blur..

The news of my acceptance will be out soon and hopefully i havent come so far for nothing. Everyone is tellin me that i'll get it. Words of encouragement that i hope will materialize...

2010-03-31T21:01:00.002+08:00

came home not to long ago and my home phone started to ring.

i dont usualy pick up the home phone coz whoever is calling sure isnt looking for me.

i picked up the phone and heard voice i havent heard for a long time - my eldest aunty.

i used to think that she was quite 'lor so' while talking to her but when i9 spoke to her this time round, i could feel something different.

she was aging.

you know that sound when you hear it while talking to the elderly.

i stopped for a moment to ask how she was and how were things on her end.

i heard from mum she was 'sort of losing a bit of her memory'.

its sad how age takes its toll on you. robs you of your youth and whatever external beauty youve got and replaces it with wrinkles and decreasing health.

now that her husband is gone and no one to accompany her i actually could feel her loneliness.

is that why people go crazy sometimes or just start to lose it?

i made a mental note to pray for her and to talk more with her the next time i see her. Take care dua yi...

2009-11-03T23:42:00.002+08:00

it HAS been a long time. too long in fact. too long since i wrote. everything has been rather mundane for me. just going through the motion of studying and trudging on. believe me, there was nothing interesting at all the past six months that is noteworthy. at least i think. but thats beside the point.

as i mentioned, it has been too long and on sunday night i took my last paper (crosses fingers). for me it was just a relief to all the surmounting pressure that has been put on me (by myself) ended when i put down the pen and handed in that treasury and risk management paper. it wasnt instant gratification (as i pictured), but more of a slow build up. its like suddenly today i realised that 'hey, whats next?'

you know when youre looking foward so much to something and when it comes and boomz (i did not intentionally use the word.. it just popped into my mind), the thing passes and youre left wondering what's the next step.

so then, i decided to go for a run and then things started to just pop into my mind. there are a few things i really hope for to happen within the next few months. havent really told much people about it but then again im keeping mum till it actually happens. in the mean time, im just keeping the faith

2009-05-26T00:38:00.002+08:00

The Hard Way Round

Silence, a pin drop.
Do you hear my heart throb?
A cry to whom,whom do we seek?
So quiet this room, almost bleak.

Like he who is always watching,
Love ever endearing
Is all he doeth but observe?
Or is it just our lack of verve.

Only to our hearts in which he says,
And makes the promise of brighter days.
Why then do we not commit with our being,
To this all supreme being?

The mind is weak and full of folly,
Unable to justify right from wrongly.
Need there be a drastic change?
Our shadows we chase, stumbling out of range.

For a mind that wills but a heart unsure,
Into depths unknown we sink, oh the lure!
It is only then we get a revelation,
Like the prodigal son - do we have to first sour our relations?

But love endears and he is forgiving,
Surely there is none like he among the living.
Take this then, a heart contrite
Mold it, use it to be a light.

-Ephy

2009-05-15T01:12:00.005+08:00

How Thick is the Thin Fine Line on Which We Thread

Your pillar of strength I hope to be,
I suppose it's a tangible reality

Yet I sit silent dazed, lost,
Wondering, at what cost?

How then do you define,
When you whom I'm head over heels for - oh so fine,

The sum of effort put in,
That's ever fluctuating - like numbers on the lottery win.

For putting too much I'm being pushy,
Put a 'lil less and I'm being pussy.

Justify the ink that plots the thin fine line
And where, above or below, do I fade or shine?

It's a question I ask, the answer I seek.
And yes, admit I do, the inner turmoils makes Ephy meek.

Of all the trials and tribulation,
In this I pray for a revelation.

And make that you will, this tangible reality
Not just another memory

-Ephy

2009-05-07T23:15:00.003+08:00

im facing a mental block right now. its like when you know what youre supposed to do but the circumstances dont permit you in doing so. friends have been really accommodating and nice. you know who you are guys.

im sure at one point or another we all have compared ourselves with our friends (some of us even overdoing it). well besides giving you that ego boost and benchmarking yourself, it doesnt really give an accurate sign of where you are. read: if you mix with lousy people youre the best of the worst but that makes you probably somewhere around worst of the best if youre with and elite group no? so if comparing aint accurate, why do we still do it? maslow's heirarchy of needs? i dont know. all we need is a lil confidence and some lovin...

yes myself included.

2009-04-30T02:16:00.001+08:00

im down but not out.

2009-03-08T17:47:00.002+08:00

Idiot the Wise

We choose our paths, our fate.
Mere humans we are. struggling, striving.

Ever searching, looking for that light guiding
Why are we at times having to navigate through harsh landscapes

Bleak, gloomy, and foreboding?
Reminisce the days of youth gone by - refreshing.
Oh the halcyon days, the sweet escape!

The world we live in, hardened by cynicism
Conniving. full of conspiracy.
There's more. its written not in the stars, but on the walls.

We create our own cataclysms.
In our minds, the ideology
In our hands, the means to break the fall

The means to break the fall...

-Ephy

2009-01-25T16:43:00.002+08:00

ask me if i am superstitious and the answer you will get is 'no'. there is no such thing as ghosts, vampires or witches. the closest you can get to a vampire is the government, who actually sucks all your money dry and leaves you all giddy from the loss of money for own personal use. but i digress...

been hearing a lot of 'new year talk' recently, and talk of like 'a new start' and 'new beginnings' often spring up in the conversation (not to mention new money, whatever that means). when i was driving home last night, i was thinking to myself whether of not i offended anyone in particular. i couldnt think of anyone at that point, but im sure i did. and yeah, i just wanna take this opportunity (so i can get into the 'pantang' mood too) to apologize if i really did offend anyone previously. (you can count yourself in too if it was over a year ago)

i think it takes a lot for some to apologize. more for some, less for others but the biggest mistake people make is accusing others first when they themselves are guilty. yes, even i, at times (especially while driving) will do that. but 'fessing up sure does get a lot off your chest. its just the asian culture per se. people are too proud or stubborn to look at oneself first.

since new year is also a time for renewal, it also speaks of a time for change. those caught in between are those in transition. i am in transition.

for someone who has been at management level before, obviously expects more out of life and the things around him. theres something with me now that im just trying to find. its not there. at times i think i am close, but when i search a little further, i come to a dead end. its frustrating at times because the thing you want is not material, it cannot be defined. you know it when youve got it but there is no one way to get it.

i am so unsettled now, sometimes it makes me seem like im distant. people, dont get the wrong idea. i am okay. i am upbeat, but think: who motivates the motivator?

this wasnt intended to be a dreary note for the new year. just a reminder for me when i look back that this was how it was this new year and how things (and here comes the cliche) can only get better, and an apology to all - meā culpā.

i will find my shangri la. i must.

2008-11-27T22:31:00.002+08:00

a song that speaks my mood right now.

A&B will be performing at zoukout 2008 btw.. i cant wait

2008-11-17T03:15:00.002+08:00

its the first time in a long time since i last tried to write. with the use of face book nowadays, hardly anyone blogs anymore. well, i guess i speak for myself.

tonight is also the first time in a long time im having trouble SLEEPING. yes ladies and gentlemen, my life, for the past 4 or so months has been so hectic and tonight, of all nights, after finishing the last paper for this semester's exam, im having trouble sleeping.

there have been so many things on my mind i just feel i had to get out of bed to blog.

maybe an update of the things that have come to pass is a suitable opening? lets see. the first big thing was that i got a job after ten, yes TEN months of enjoyment, late nights and parties. that was in July. slowly, together with my school curriculum things have been just so busy.

i guess because of this people just misunderstand me. through the course of work and school, ive learnt that communication plays a very important part in a relationship. be it platonic or physical, or even with friends or colleagues, if there isnt enough transparency or communication, a relationship would just go the wrong way. till now people get the misconception that im the one always not needing to work and always able to party like there's no tomorrow. well, sad to say they're wrong. they still bring along that misconception and whenever they call, they expect me to be there, "where the party's at" i always say. i still do go and enjoy going coz its a break from all the madness at work, but ive also learnt to limit and prioritize.

i also guess ive offended some people along the way. for those who have been so close to me previously, they just behave like we dont know each other anymore. its so sad to just drift apart. there's no excuse for not doing anything about it but barriers such as time inflexibility and procrastination have all contributed to this . again, lack of comunication.

birthdays, events, exams came and went - im sure for those of you reading you can see from my facebook profile whats been up. i guess anyone in my shoes should be contented. but why is it that im up at this hour, disturbed by something and unable to sleep. strangely i dont know what it is. what do i want? what is my goal? why am i here?

i thought i had figured these all out before. man, i need somebody to talk to. is anyone listening? im tired of being the listener. so so tired...

2008-03-27T05:11:00.003+08:00

friends. you cant live without them, yet you cant live with just any 'friend'. they accomodate you, lift your spirits up, make you angry, cast your fears aside, give you advice, bug you, do silly things with you, dare you, travel with you, some even shit together with you (not in the same cubicle though). what brings people together? what makes them drift apart?

its been six months or so since ive come back. alot of people have came. some stayed, others moved on. occasionally, i tend to meet someone new. some refreshing, some just piss the hell off of you. i always thought that if the friend didnt suit you, just leave. however when youve reached a certain age, youll realise its not all about giving up and walking away. its about helping them along as well.

just tonight while i was at zouk, i suddenly just went blank and stared into the crowd while standing on the steps of the main bar area. gosh it'd been so long since i stood here all alone. olivia was on the podium, the rest were just scattered everywhere else. it felt good in a way, yet on the other hand i felt a tinge of exasperation - you know those type of moods you get when you stare at the crowd all grooving to the beat and you, just you alone is silent, observing. you are nothing, yet on a whole you are also one with them. looking at each individual, trying to feel what they feel or think. why their thoughts eventually contribute to their actions and words.

i thought of a few friends. relating to a few instances, i did a quick analysis (yes people, i DO think!) i thought what went wrong, whether there was anything i could do to make it better. i think it all boiled down to two things really - of which one is money.

yup, just like Nelly says, it must be the money. when youve got it, everyone will swarm to you, and when you dont wanna spend, only the good ones stay. first hand experience here. sadly, it is a vicious cycle that doesnt end. no bragging intended but since i came home, ive opened enough bottles to get all the woodlands st 82 neighbourhood cats a nice place in SPCA; and you can see already who chips in and who silently (almost like a ninja) fades away.

im not saying im not guilty of this too. it even caused ________(insert female bestie's name who stays at holland) and i to quarrel. good thing shes understanding (and im *ahem* accomodating). you know i love you girl! but the bottom line is even though we've put that behind and carried on from there things just arent the same - we dont call that often or meet up that often. yah sure you can attribute it to busy schedules and all but deep down i think its coz of that ordeal. hey but everyone learns from mistakes.

i just hope im not too late.

i guess after much thought on the second, what pulls or pushes friends together is character my friends, character.

we start out without both to begin with, both of which we must build...

2008-02-13T01:24:00.000+08:00

i had a serious conversation with my bro who really, woke me up from my dream state and made me come back to reality. right now, as i type this, my mind is swirling with thoughts. did reality have to hit so hard?

actually it was a progressive build up to reality. it already came, straight after the holiday with the guys. with this in mind, i am so determined to do stuff. to stop procrastinating. to do it now...

"how much time do you spend with your parents? they dont know you anymore"

thinking back, i tried to recall the times i actually spent with my parents compared to the time spent going out with friends partying. it was something close to my chances winning the lottery to the amount of shit the birds leave on your car after you park at the cineleisure car park for just an hour.

i mean i knew it all along but its just the impact of the person telling it to me.

that's the easy part, now the hard part: action and sustainability..

2007-11-04T21:33:00.000+08:00

SYDNEY POST 2
was at chinatown today having "yum char" or rather dim sum with my family. the place was more packed than 20 cigarettes in a marlboro hard pack. we even had to queue. apparently over here, chinese food is quite popular, even with the locals. i mean, you hardly see an angmo in a chinese restaurant (not that i go there very often) in singapore. anyway the food wasnt too bad. after that we walked around the town area abit before my family went home. i stayed on coz i had a dinner appointment with benjamin later on in the evening. walked around the marketplace abit but there wasnt anything interesting to buy. i just soaked in the atmosphere.
ben was late but very willingly, he picked up the tab at this place that we ate (i forgot the name). he ordered a WHOLE chicken for me coz i said i was hungry (no im not gay). anyway it was a meal - 2 WHOLE chickens with a huge BUCKET of fries to go along as you can see in the pictures later (note how the small coke bottle pales in comparison with the chicken and fries).
went for coffee after that but most of the shops were closed (most shops close after 5pm here) so we settled for one just outside the train station. we updated each other on what we've been doing the past 2 years (fun fact: apparently he left for Oz the same day as i left for brunei - Valentines day 2006) and really never stopped talking since we met. i was really happy seeing him, especially away from home in a foreign land. made me reminisce of the good old OCS days. yes, the occasional joke on the platoon blur cock/most hated person(s). apparently one of them ended up in jail. no shit! by the way, hes just finished writing his thesis on some cancer cell research stuff. he told me what he does in the lab is that his supervisor gives him slabs of women's breasts (no kidding!), prolly 3cm x 3cm x 3cm (if i remember the rough thumb-and-finger estimate he gave me correctly) and he has to analyse the cancer cells there.

"i can see clearly now!"

we were sitting down and ben was just telling me about not putting my cigarettes and valuables on the table when this guy (think scruffy young punk with unkept hair and all) came up to me and asked me for a cigarette. there goes cigarette no.1.
there was a commotion going on just outside the train station and being MODE 1 Singaporean (refers to singaporean pre programmed behaviour in public: MODE 1=KPO, MODE 2=KIASEE, MODE 3=KIASU), i instinctively decided to see what was going on (just like when there's an accident beside the road and everyone slows down just to KPO, its just MODE 1 going on). there was this girl who had just fainted at the train station and there were alot of police surrounding her. didnt stick around long coz i had a train to catch (the next one was 40 mins later).

"let's play 'all employees stand near a pillar and do nothing'!"

the train ride was smooth but had to stop halfway to where i was headed coz of some problems at the station i intended to get off. waited about 30 mins in the train then decided to ask my brother in law to pick me up. while i was waiting for him, these 2 chicks came up to me and asked for a cigarette. they looked young though so i told them i didnt have any but they could have the one i was smoking (and you thought singapore was bad!). anyway we chatted awhile (they're girls what) then i left to meet my bro in law at the waiting point below the train station.
and the moral of the story is: you can make friends with people as long as you smoke! -___-"
lastly some photos from the morning and yesterday at bicentennial park - the place where they hosted the 2000 olympics.

"look mum, floating chickens!"

more floating chickens

before going out this morning (sis's place)

happy family

birthday shoutout: ALVIN, KIMBERLY & KAREN, happy 24th, 24th and 25th birthdays respectively!

2007-11-01T18:30:00.000+08:00

after the last post, it was mainly slaying monsters with muxiang and jackson at west coast macdonalds or just hanging out with friends (ok ok maybe more with charmain lah), drinking perhaps?
on one of those odd days i met up with alaina at her place while picking up dia (alaina can COOK guys!), afterwhich we went to have dinner with the gang at east coast (GASP! the east side!!) hawker centre. i still can remember - carpark E2, thanks to yaya's sms! anyway east coast (gasp!) hasnt left me with many good memories, the ones that come to mind now are my accidents - 3/4ths of them happened in the east (horror music abruptly comes in). though long time ago, but whenever i passby the place i still think of those agonising moments.

thats alaina, the cooking queen. sorry, i lied about not putting your pic on my blog =) i still luv ya hun!

thats dia, the red indian girl who lost her personality and became chinese

thats dias waxing service, she uses native american herbs to help reduce pain. did i mention shes the "fastest waxer in the village"?

thats me with dia and jo shopping at ikea, just before having diam cake! (no they're not inside with me!)

that's me on the last day of serving the country with pinky, the cute pink furry seatbelt cushion mathew has in his car

ok enough of self pity, so my life was rather routine - sleep at 7(its AM by the way) wake up around 3-4 and go out ete, until last week where i arrived in australia!
the main reason was actually to visit my niece, of which i havent seen in person since she came into this world. the flight there was smooth but i was disappointed that none of the girls/guys(SQ) i knew were on that flight, so i was just occupied with the in-house movies and my psp.
arrived at my sis's place an hour and a half later. the air was crisp cool, cockatoos were seen on the garden porch. the breeze was blowing, yup! this was not singapore for sure. it took a while to recover from jet lag (singapore is behind by 3 hours).
Spent the weekend itself at an outback cabin resort that my brother in law booked for us, north of sydney. it was about 1 hour drive up and another 1 hour drive in! although it was only 20km in, the road and weather conditions were not very good. it was night time and very very foggy (read: worse than the zouk funnel/smoke machine when it sprays out the smoke everytime the crowd dances to a favrouite at mambo). anyways, we made it there eventually. the place had a very homely comfortable feel to it and all of us were happy.
besides that, was almost always in my sis's house or at the local shopping mall or just jogging... that was till yesterday, where i went to town, by myself! you might think the idea of going to town is no big deal, but to a sinaporean who's out and about its a rather different experience i would say. why didnt i just drive in? coz with the parking prices there, i could treat you, your brother, your pretty sister, you mother, your dad and prolly your pet dog all to a macdonalds meal each if i were to pay for parking fees in sydney town. thats why most people take the bus! it was a fun but tiring day all by myself walking around exploring sydney town. here are the pics!

"we love being little!"

lest we forget

i like this pic i took, very me. haha

i sat at the bench and sketched this scene as well.

notice the crow perched on the pole.

springtime in Oz!

i'll also be meeting ah ben and kah tat (OCS mates) prolly over the weekend. will post the pics as soon as err.. i feel like! Yangyi is prolly coming up to join me on the 14th. i dont know about Ling. she hasnt replied my mails. Where are you darling?? Eugene has gone back today. i guess he prolly surprised the group by now. if any of you guys read this before he does then just try to act surprised alright? ok i leave you guys with some random/amusing pics taken back home... cheerio!

notice the tummy buldge

i took this a while ago. its not everyday you see this! (and NO i didnt do it, if thats what youre thinking!)

we finished the bottle of martell at a leisurely time of 20 mins

a small picnic with someone special

2007-10-11T11:56:00.001+08:00

some pics taken at zouk on 3rd oct.

2007-10-01T23:57:00.000+08:00

i WAS about to blog about the past few days events but when i looked at fiona's blog (btw did you know it is the most popular blog in singapore and some say JB????) she had already more or less summarised everything for me. click here to go to fiona's blog. some additional photos

this emu is cock eyed...

see what i mean..

other stuff worth mentioning is that tomorrow is my last day of serving the nation and after 4 years of contributing, this chapter in my life has finally come to an end. alot to say about the time there but that's not the topic today.

been busy lately meeting old friends and just living the life back in singapore. met up with pam and mel (my PRIMARY school friends) on thurs and caught up on almost 11 years of not seeing each other. boy are we old! forgot to take a pic though, but we promised to meet up soon and not take another 11 years to meet again.

been clubbing alot recently too. my credit card bill this month was one of the highest yet! Cheng yi nite was at zouk where i met dia, nic and amanda before going down. Jo and ben were late again as usual (even meeting nasi lemak from near their place must wait for THEM) but by that time it didnt really matter... well at least to dia, who had downed a flaming lambo with me, among other stuff. me andrew and clarissa who came from school. i was rather in a happy high state by then already. and not long after, charm and daph came! luckily i had the two of them to send me back if not i'd have died there... thanks girls i owe you one!

stay tuned!

2007-09-19T23:07:00.000+08:00

been back from brunei for about two weeks now and still havent had enough of fun. ivy, fiona and yf came to pick me from the airport. dia was also supposed to be there but aiyah, "school lah" she claimed. Jo was no where in sight and so was beng, who apparently had business to do. fast forward a few days and few drinks later, im seeing all my friends. on the first wednesday night i came back, we all went to zouk, all in the name of cheng yi (sincerity).
it was one wild night i tell ya. we were already quite high as we drank at beng's place already. so when we reached zouk, we just decided to open a bottle. the next thing we knew, the party had finished and we were outside talking about chengyi and friendship when someone punched jeffrey. we were all in such a happy high state, it kinda pissed us off that our bro was being hit, so to cut the long story short, beng punched the guy whom i was telling to bugger off and the same guy that got punched had to compensate us money. the story was a little complicated so just ask me and i'll let you in on the details. after that nothing much happened except for the fact that we almost got into an accident if not for ivy's prompt braking.
other things ive done was getting a computer and just bumming around. i gotta start getting back to reality soon..

2007-08-26T20:50:00.000+08:00

Three days ago a good friend of mine left us. He was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer about six months back. he did not drink or smoke, was always healthy and fit. he also had the best and most positive attitude among all the other instructors. that was why when the news was out, it came as a shock to us all. initially we thought he would be alright after a few treatments as when people went to visit him, he was happy and all. however, things weren't looking up and eventually it came to this. when i received the news on that fateful thursday morning, i just lost my mood to do anything. there is one thing i regret so much and that is not visiting him when i had the chance 4 months back. i thought that there would be a 'next' time. that next time did not come and now all i have are memories of a colleague, a friend, a brother and a comrade i know who would willing lay down his life for his country. SSG Liew, heres to you...

2007-08-18T20:44:00.000+08:00

Meetings have been around since the dawn of time - from discussing certain issues on hand to deciding whether to go to war or not (unless you are a dictator and no, girls are not counted as dictators(well some are lah). i guess all those reading this have been in some sort of meeting before. and most people reading this will agree with me that unless you are chairing the meeting or have something to present, your presence there is simply for the sake of being there (well maybe to make yourself useful and pour the secretary a glass of water or something). I have realized this already very early on however the organization i am working for does not condone one from being absent from meetings unless he has a good excuse. so sadly, i too have to conform and attend.

Yesterday morning was a good example of a bad meeting. The end results of the subjects discussed really did not have a proper solution and were approved just for the sake of approving. in other words, the chairman was just going through motion. He was unattentive and just engrossed in his own thoughts. meeting after meeting, i feel that we are re-inventing the wheel and going back to the same problem.

To solve this, my colleagues and i have come up with ways to pass time (since we hardly ever say anything coz all the bigger fish are discussing "more important" things) The chairman has an unusual habit of using all these bombastic terms but somehow he gets caught in his own tongue and the sentence ends up all wrong. it goes something like "purify the purifying tablets" (?!?!?!) or "let's fight the fire at the back of our backyard" (!!!!). those are just some of the kicks we get from our monotonous meetings. another thing would be before the meeting we'd go buy lots of snacks then slowly eat them. (you should try it sometime) the last one is actually scribbling in the big notebook i have.

just yesterday my friend and clarence and i were so bored that we played the draw-what-i-say game where by the category was 'animals'. And so just for the all of you to see what i do during meetings, take a look at the masterpiece. (click to enlarge picture)

hey, suddenly meetings aren't so bad afterall leh!

2007-07-28T18:30:00.000+08:00

Hey all, i just got back not long ago from Kota Kinabalu(KK) with stacks of pics and lots of fun! For those of you who have no idea where kk is (no its not the hospital smarty pants), its situated at the eastern part of east malaysia, or about 4-5 hours drive away from where im staying.

All in all there were four of us - Azman, A'arif and Steven (Plus me). Our main intention was to climb the mountain (which is actually the highest in Southeast Asia @ 4095m). When we got there we had quite a scare as we found out you couldn't just climb the mountain whenever you wished because there were limited vacancies at the 2/3rd point so we actually had to do an advanced booking 4 months earlier. But to cut the long story short and like the chorus in the song by nelly's ride with me, "must be the money", it solved our woes.

We were whisked away barely 12 hours of reaching kk to a new destination - the foot of mount kinabalu. i was feeling really excited coz i knew i could expect a good view when i got to to top the next day. the weather was good, the sky was blue. everything just seemed right.

The climb was tough but achieveable and we made it to the 2/3 mark (Laban Rata) in about 6 hours. As you can see in the pictures, the dense vegetation slowly gives way to shrubs. By this time it was already starting to get colder than usual, but we kept our bodies warm by having short rests so as not to let ourselves get too cold. On the way up not far from the starting point, i got bitten by a squirrel (I caught it on video below)

we came to this rest house and there were squirrels everywhere. i put my hand out to see if they'd jump on me. initially they were quite timid so i put a piece of tolberone chocolate on my hand. Then out of nowhere this big mother squirrel appeared and jumped me. from that moment on, i told myself i'd hate squirrels for a long time to come.

2/3 of the way up at Laban rata Resthouse

we slept early after a meal at the rest house (which is even more expensive than dining at lawry's) and woke up at 230am to continue the remaining 1/3 of the journey. The ascent to the top will be one incident that i will remember for a long time to come because i could actually feel my right ear almost dropping off. during the middle section of the climb was the most excruciating because we were climbing on a flat rock face with literally no or little vegetation or rock formation to shield us from the chilly winds. i glanced down at a small crevice and could actually see ice form in between, that was actually how cold it was. at this point i could also see RATS scampering around in all their bare naked glory. it was as if to mock us humans climbing the mountain to go back where we came from.

Reaching the summit was a personal achievement for me and there are no real words to describe the view and feelings one has when he has conquered something of such immense proportions. so let these amateur photos tell you a story i cannot.

The remainder of the week was spent learning how to dive - i got me diver's license! and to white water raft. All in all, the trip was superb. everyone enjoyed themselves thoroughly.

There are little bits and pieces of other little story here and there like how i puked underwater coz i was feeling seasick but still had to breathe and how the four of use went for the foot massage at the pasal malam in kk town after our climb. We saw on the massage 'menu' a package for spiritual healing and stuff.. but those are stories for another time, another place, over coffee maybe?

30+++ MORE DAYS TILL IM BACK BABY!!!

Birthday Shoutout: Happy birthday Liz!

2007-06-29T19:28:00.000+08:00

apologies for not updating for the longest of times. but before you start making noise, do understand that its been due to the hectic schedule ive been having recently - i even had to release my pet lizard coz i had no time to feed it (i know, im such a caring lizard owner). so finally, after a month of working non stop (including sat n sun) i have come to the end of my frame. it really has been a hell lot of work for me, especially with my team as there are new members and alot of other sh*t (the type where youre working on something then something else crops up and you have to deal with it first before going on to the work that you were working on in the first place). ive been sucked on (yes sucked on) by two leeches and it was disgusting, grabed a thorn plant with my hand as it was too dark and i couldnt see, cut my eye, got stung by a hornet, had a tree branch fall on me, had many cold wet nights and yadda yadda. but thats work. i think my threshold for pain has just gone up a few notches coz im not feeling any stress or actually i just think its normal when these things occur.

this actually brings me to my next point. its like when someone complains to me about their experiences and i dont say anything, its not that i dont care. its just that probably ive been through it and i understand how they feel. i just dont know what to say.

the organisation recently offered me another contract to work with them till im 42 years of age and just when im about to leave, this situation places me in another dilemma (as if i dont have enough already). its been bugging me quite alot as i dont think i should ask people what to do with my life as i make the decisions but you know, from all the added comments and stuff, it'll prolly confuse me more than help me, so im just taking my time (but not dragging) to think.

july (i hope) is going to be quite a good month for me. firstly i will be on vacation mid july. i will be going to kota kinabalu, which is the northeastern part of borneo to climb the highest mountain in southeast asia. i also intend to learn scuba diving there too as it is cheaper than learning it in sg (cheapskate!) and lastly, maybe spend a day doing whitewater rafting if possible. however, as with all big groups going on vacation, more often than not there will be somebody telling you that they cant go coz of _________ (insert sad story due to money relationship problems etc). so our group size is not confirmed and so is the itenerary.

but other that that, ive also declared july as my movie month. this means on the days that im not working (or slacking) i will watch at least 3 movies. ive already caught transformers - which is superb! i give it a 4.5 / 5. it really brought back lots of childhood memories. transformers was indeed nostalgic, but the thing that irked me the most was optimus prime is still a softie. i dont want to spoil the plot for you guys but all i can say is the movie is worth your money (bring the popcorn too!) so go catch it now!

2007-05-24T14:20:00.000+08:00

tattoos

ive been having alot of thought recently about getting a tattoo done. call it sudden impulse but the urge to get myself inked is strong. i didnt use to be like this. in fact i promised myself back when i was a kid that id never put a tattoo on myself even if it kills me. ok times have changed.

but getting a tattoo can go oh-so-wrong. just browsing around on the net, i saw a few horrible designs that would make even your best friend want to give you a slap, heck even the old man sitting at the kopi tiam all day would be amused cos you made his tattoo look new. yup.

i always thought that getting a tattoo only involved a few simple steps but as policemens shorts magically evolved and grew downwards to become long pants, so has the process of getting a tattoo - its not as easy as you go to the shop and flip thru a few books and then get it done. (well unless you want to be like the dude from para. 2) to me, you have to have a rough idea of what you want to have followed by how big is it going to be followed by which part of the body you want it on followed by which tattoo artist you want to go to get your work done.

was thinking of putting an ambigram of my name with a lion in the back ground (coz im a leo). i also thought of putting those 'knights of the crusade days' type of knight on my back. he is kneeling and deep in thought. the surrounding is dark and there is a ray of light just on him. i dont know if it will be a reality but i guess i will do it when i go back to sg.

Lastly if all else fails, round up a few people (like i did) and jio them to 'put angkong' with you. so at least when you look stupid together it will be fun!

anyway my sis gave birth and i have a baby niece! im sooo happy =)

2007-03-31T00:41:00.000+08:00

im pissed off.

2007-03-14T16:05:00.000+08:00

Shay and Rongli are gone. It sure feels different when 2 people you have been living together with for the past year are not around anymore. These are two people who have gone through so much with me. We shared many of our problems and difficulties together, went for holidays, ate together, played soccer together, got scolding together...

I guess they are happier back in Singapore now but im sure at the moment they were leaving, glancing back and having their last look at the camp, they must have felt a tinge of sadness. Afterall, this was the place they called home for the past 1 year plus.

Fast forwarding to six months later, my time will come when i too will leave this place. What will i feel? Truthfully, I do not know. for this place has matured me, moulded me in growing up, finding my own two feet - for that i am grateful, but also posed me alot of problems and inner struggles. Only time will tell.

Their leaving also made me think back on all the times where i've had to say goodbye. Goodbye to my men when they ORD-ed, leaving the company line empty. Goodbye to my OCS mates when we threw our pick caps in the sky in jubilation when we graduated after nine months of training. Goodbye to the people who sent me off at the airport. Goodbye to the ex girlfriend whom i only got to treasure my weekends with. Goodbye to my BMT mates, schoolfriends and so on.

It also made me think about the times people complain, not being happy with what they have or are going through - Fighting couples quarrelling over trival matters, perfectly fine people looking to alter their appearence even more etc. Instead they should be thankful for what they have, because more often than not we regret only when things happen.

Dont wait for things to happen.

To Shay & RobertoRongli. Salute!

2007-02-28T16:36:00.000+08:00

Another weekend spent working. However this time round it was a little out of the norm. Every year, our camp together with HQ play host to all the VIPs here in Brunei for the CNY Celebrations. Lucky me and another few of my buddies got picked to help out with the occasion. It turned out we were arrowed to be ushers. I did not really like the idea at first of standing in the sun helping people open their car doors, greeting them and walking them from the car to the main entrance of the hall. Luckily i had Tok and Shay to keep me company talking among ourselves for the worst part of it. A total of 10 hours were spent smiling and working. If only i earned as much money as i smiled that day, i'd die a happy man.

The next day we took a chopper ride back to camp, thanks to Tok's sweet mouth in asking the Heli Detachment commander. It was odd however, as everyone else in the plane were wearing uniforms except us. It was the first time taking the plane in CVs and also the first time sitting in a chopper for so long. What usually takes an hour for us to get from our camp to HQ took just 10 mins. The view from 500+ metres up was breathtaking too. We could see crystaline lakes and never ending mountain ranges that ran as far as the eye could see.

Sometimes i wonder when this pile of work will end. Its surprising that one can still find enjoyment in this crazy place...

BTW, Happy Birthday Ivy!!! *Muackz*

2007-02-12T11:45:00.000+08:00

just a quick cap of events for what's been happening these few weeks.

Firstly, we had this "new training area recce" in early Feb. It was total crap. The scenario is rather similar to one out of those war movie ala amazing race opening taglines: Training Branch will be broken up into groups of 2-3 people where you will have to find a series of checkpoints in order to move on to the next stage. In case you're wondering what "The next stage" is, it is or rather was trying to come out. Most of you might be wondering 'hey what's so hard navigating through a thick virgin jungle within an area of operation of about 5km by 5km only for 3 days?'

Firstly, to get to the 5 x 5km area, we (Ong and I) had to skirt through a plantation supposedly inhabited with cows. That was for the first hour. It was lucky no cow mistook us for a mate or that we didnt step on any of their poo. Then came the big lalang field which was waterlogged (snakes!) and so thick we had to sit on the grass to move forward. After that we came to a swamplike area which we had to pass. Then came a ravine which we had to climb on all fours. By that time we were all drenched in sweat and we only travelled for a kilometre on map distance!

Other creepy things occured during the recce. We could not find a decent place to harbour for the night so we just cleared an immediate area, prolly 2m by 2m, tied our hammocks and tried to get some sleep after eating out dinner. i felt nauseous and vommitted. Ong claims i 'was puking like a drunkard'. as i lay in my hammock thinking about the days happenings and mentally planning for the next days events, i heard this sound - those heard when you are trying to silently crush a plastic bag. at first i thought i was hearing things but it became louder and louder. i took my torch and shone it on the floor. to my horror, the whole floor was covered in a blanket of black fire ants!

in case you are wondering what fire ants are, think red ants except they're black, bigger pincers much more organised and a bigger badder attitude. they are scavengers of the forest and hunt at night, sweeping through the forest leaving nothing in their wake. Their bite is acidic and painful even for one bite, almost comparable to a bee sting.

so if you have a vivid imagaination, you can imagine how scared i was. those little buggers were everywhere. i could not even put a leg or finger on the floor. the worst thing was that darren did not tie his hammock properly and it was sinking with every movement i made. i observed them for a while and those other insects/animals on the ground were not even spared. i saw spiders being bitten till they died, bits of my slipper getting chewed off (again!), ants carrying of little specs of what looked like my puke (^___^)

i was only about 8 cm off the ground then. If you have ever been in any situation where you are helpless to do anything, this would just about sum it up. i just casually asked Ong what to do. "Just leave them alone, tomolo they will be gone" was his reply. I shouldnt even have asked...

Eventually they did leave by the next morning but i was still rather paranoid about the whole episode and kept checking my boots and socks and dusting my clothes before and even after leaving the place.

That day was rather eerie too. What happened to us was just like a scene out of LOST. we were trekking through the thick vegetation and suddenly we come to this clearing with a radius of about 50m. What made my hair stand was that there were scarecrows hanging on the trees, swaying in the wind! There were animal (or human?) traps around the vicinity as well and we tried our best not to step on any of them.

2007-02-02T18:07:00.000+08:00

Bad advertising(i like to call it spam) just like a laggy com with a spoilt mouse and bad jokes from the co-worker sitting across you, is a virus. everywhere you go online, there are bound to be advertisements promising you a better body (boob job+bikini wax job+eyebrow job+nail job+face job+botox job+tummy job), free screen savers of aquarium fish that you dont ever need/will never ever need in your life, telling you that you're actually their one billionth person on the site and they wanna thank you by giving you a free holiday. sometimes i wonder whether the collective creative juices of these people schemeing on all this combined together and put to a better cause can actually solve world peace. well, that aside i felt i had to write this coz i just recieved an email from a 'concerned' and oh-so-naieve friend. thanks anyway for the spot on warning.

"ATM PIN NUMBER REVERSAL (GOOD TO KNOW)

If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your Pin # in reverse. For example if your pin number is 1234 then you would put in 4321. The ATM recognizes that your pin number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine. The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to help you. This information was recently broadcasted on TV and it states that it is seldom used because people don't know it exists.

Please pass this along to everyone possible.
This info was forwarded by someone who works in a bank."

My question is what will happen if the dude's PIN number all similar or the same when entered opposite... Eg:999999 or 100001?

guess they got that piece of info from the janitor.

2007-01-28T11:17:00.001+08:00

money makes the world go round. well that rule applies to most people in general. there are some people whom i know that dont love money (i dont know what better word to use). what im trying to say is that they dont put money as their topmost priorities in life.

if i gave you a blank sheet of paper and asked you to list down the 20 most important things in your life, be it family, career, car, condo, that furry soft toy you drooled on so much when you were little or that girl's knickers that you still have in your bottom drawer of your cupboard used for cultivating mould, money would definetly place among the top, if not right at the top of the list. why? simply because without money you cant get anywhere.

in my 18 years living on this earth (ok its 24), i have seen ugly sides of people (literally and metaphorically). for the latter, sometimes its coz the person is lacking in the money department and that's what brings out the worst in him. ive seen people (aquaintences) beg me for money, lie for money, borrow money but never return, claim they return (wiring the money to my account) but never and lots of other stupid things.

one fine example would be one of my men from my previous unit - LCP ~~Jason~~ ok maybe that was too obvious. lets try again - LCP JXXXX. the story goes like this:

there was this one time i was talking on the phone with ivy sometime back in late 2005 before i went overseas. i needed to go poop so i told ivy i'd call her back asap. so she was asking me how fast i could finish the job and me being me said i could do it in five. so i put my phone in my white (and gay) OCS shorts (which by the way have the shallowest pockets). my camp, being around since 1736 AD (its one of the seven wonders of the world by the way) was old so most of the cubicles had only squat type (i call this type 2) toilets.

ill spare the details but lets just say i didnt start on any business yet! my phone got soaked and i was asking around who could repair it for me. so J offered his help since he was working in the 'handphone industry'. he asked me to transfer him $70 for the repairs and i did. to cut the long story short, J did not return the phone to me. instead, alot of lies and deception took place. i felt disappointed in J but i thought if he wasnt going to return me the $.

people lie for money. if the person that wants to borrow money is not as trustworthy as me, then dont lend it!

2006-12-01T18:40:00.000+08:00

yesterday there was a much debatable topic on some animal called the 'civet dog' which shay claims to have seen. the conversation goes something like this:

Shay: you see ephraim you went back early, you know what i saw or not after you left?

Me: no shay, what did you see? Bigfoot?

Shay: *announces proudly* nope i saw a civet dog!

Me: Hhuuuuhhh! Wat the $^%& is a civet Dog?!?!

Shay: a civet dog lah. Like the civet cat but its a dog. it also looks a bit like a wolf.

Okay so it was at this point of time our little debate began with shay claiming he saw what he saw outfield. now we all know what a civet cat looks like

so i, feeling a little perturbed went to see what a civet DOG would look like on the internet. Searches in Yahoo!, Google and Wikipedia turned up some interesting finds but there was still no civet DOG. i found out a few stuff about the civet and thought it might be interesting for our more 'urban' readers (some of which who do not even know the difference between a donkey and a horse) to get to know more about our friend. it is listed in the paragraph below.

The 32 species of civet are small, lithe-bodied, mostly arboreal members of the order Carnivora. General appearance is broadly cat-like, but the muzzle is extended and often pointed, rather like an otter or a mongoose. The Civet's length, excluding its long tail, is about 400 to 700 mm and its weight is about 1 to 5 kg.Civet cat is an imprecise term that is used for a variety of cat-like creatures such as the Ringtail or North American Civet Cat, related to the raccoons; the musk-producing African Civet Cat; Asian Leopard Cat (a true cat) and African Wildcat (also a true cat). The term is best avoided to prevent confusion among viverrids, racoons and cats hmm i wonder why no dogs?. Breeding occurs year roundfrisky little fellas eh..; gestation is 60-81 days. Some species may have 2 litters per year. Each litter may contain 1-6 babies who are fully furred at birth. Very little is known about their mating habits.

It has been suggested that the practice of eating palm civets may have resulted in the SARS virus outbreak of 2003. In January 2004, Guangdong province in China banned sales of civet cats (they are not cats) and ordered the slaughter of all captive civets. In January 2004 the United States announced an embargo on the importation of civets.
In 2005, the WWF released photos taken by a night time camera trap of an unknown carnivore (nicknamed the cat-fox) on Borneo.gasp... could it be??!?! Some scientists think it is either a new species of civet, or that it is one of the more rare species finally being spotted in modern times, such as Hose's Palm Civet.The civet has been the source of a highly-valued musk, used as a stablizing agent in perfumes. Although civets were at one time killed for their musk, they more recently have been "recycled" for this purpose. Also called "civet," excretions are scraped from the civet's perianeal glands, a painful process. Both male and female cats produce these strong-smelling excretions. At least one civet cat farmer in Ethiopia raises civets for their musk, although this practice is dying out as perfumers move toward using synthetic fixatives. Occasionally, this musk can produce an odor which can cause vomiting in humans.

Even after reading, there was no conclusive evidence whether there was a civet dog, neither was there evidence stating that there was not so in conclusion, i will show you a photo description of what shay saw, what i thought he saw and lastly what i found to have the most resemblance to the civet DOG. readers, you decide and tell me whether ther is a civet DOG or not.

this is shays drawing of the civet dog he saw. notice the 'C' in the civet dog's eyes. he says they were exactly like that. (i think it must be sleep walking though). Also there are stripes and spots on its hide. Lastly notice the collar or strap which is on the dog's neck. domesticated already? hmm i doubt so.

next is my impression of a civet dog. notice the round nose and spotted hide, which bears more of a resemblance to its cousin/sister, the civet cat.

Lastly, woah! this is one hell of a bad as$ #$$##$#$%$#@ civet dog lookalike. i found this pic in wikipedia and thought it had some dog-like features. also look how gracefully it prances from branch to branch. you wouldnt want to be messing with something like that dude...

alright, so the pictures are out but the truth remains a mystery still. is there or is there not, such a thing as the civet dog?

2006-11-28T10:55:00.000+08:00

i just came back from 3 days out in the field again and this time round it was rather interesting (besides the fact i had to lug around 30kg of water, food and stores to my location and spend my weekend there. also on the last night there was this owl who was hooting non-stop, as if it were in trance mode. oh did i mention that some colony of ants decided to make my pair of uniform that i hung out, their home for the night? other than that it was okay).

for starters, there was this trainee who trekked to my location bare footed, well almost. he only had an insole strapped to his stinky, wet foot when i saw him. the reason - leaving his boots near the fire the night before. what was left of his boot sort of resembled a pair of crocs multi purpose rubber shoes. anyway i told him and his group off and gave them a piece of my mind about leaving the fire burning over night and stuff. i could see the tears in their eyes already and was about to shoo them off when comms came through and i was instructed to 'lend' the trainee my boot.

now, how many times have you been in the situation where by you are instructed by your boss/higher authority to do a personal favour for him/her that's not related to work (no not that you pervert!) and you dont have your two cents worth of say in it? that was precisely how i felt because prior to the course there is always this detailed briefing that is given to all the trainees that cover everything under the sun from what to do in a heli-evacuation to the basic reporting of status to the nearest log point.

indeed the trainee was briefed on the dangers of keeping a fire overnight and whether it was advisable or not but instead of admitting his mistake, he and the group simply said "oh, we put out the fire before sleeping already". and you expect me to believe that? i mean the who came to burn your boot? the hooting owl? or maybe it was one of your sleep walking friends? whatever it was, ive already heard all the sad stories there is to hear with regards to the course so why do people have to try to smoke their way out of trouble instead of admitting it? is it our asian culture where people are 'paisay' to admit their flaws or just the 'uniquely' singapore style?

so eventually against my will, i lent the trainee my boot and was rather sore for the rest of the day about not having any boots to wear. the 'replacement boot' that eventually came, also had to be fetched from the entry point to where i was, which was also a good 40min trek in slippers. what a bitch!

the worst thing was when i saw the trainee today (i lent him the boot yesterday) he offered to return the boot in its muddy and stinky condition to me. again, i had to give him moral lessons that responsible fathers are supposed to give to their young sons on returning things and eventually he cleaned it up but did not even say a word of thanks.

yup that was indeed a great weekend! what a wonderful world!

2006-11-14T08:47:00.000+08:00

just posting for fun. this pic was taken a few weeks back. behind me is sarawak, malaysia. only a small stream separates temburong brunei (the place where i am) and sarawak.

2003-01-25T12:40:00.000+08:00

yesterday: stayed at home to play castlevania symphony of the night. this game has been lying around in my house for so long i never even knew i had it. its so damn addictive. if u have the chance u better go buy it. went to malaysia to buy ciggs n pump petrol. had a ramly burger wapped in egg. i was wondering if any of you can actually taste the egg and cheese in the burger. i mean i usually can only taste the meat. nvm i dont think anyone will know what i mean.bad news. beng failed his TP. awwww tough luck dude.. im sure u'll make it in march. speaking of TP i'll be taking my class 2 soon. dunno if i can handle such a big bike. i heard that for pylon u have to turn the handle bars to manouvre the course whereas for my previous 2a and 2b dun really have to do it. whatever. on to other things.
today: its callys bdae celebration today. yaay. had a hard time waking up this morning. but i made it to school. dunno how much more i can endure of school. but i know one day ill be missing these days. carrin should be driving us there later so i think ill go home n play some more PS first. =).. okok ive said enough.

2003-01-23T16:56:00.000+08:00

i have so so many drawings n dimensions and things to do that i dunno what im doing. frickin blur.. anyways mum and dad left for australia todae to visit sis. alone again for a month. this time round i think it be harder coz im not working.. dunno if the amount they left mi is sufficient enough to last the whole month. i have so many things on my shopping list lets hope i dont do anything foolish with the money like i did the last time they went abroad.
wish list:
1) nokia 7650
2) levis 1599 jeans
3) cannon digital ixus cam
4) renew license
5) class 2 license
6) class 3C license
7) LOTR series
8) dragonlance vanished moon
9) new com
10) PS 2
11) do up my bike

whould someone be kind enough to give me 10k ? i'd be very grateful... pretty please?

2003-01-21T20:36:00.000+08:00

im trying to figure out some html sh*t. trying to make my 2nd webby now. just made something nice with photoshop that i wont say. anyway im gg to subscribe to some other blog thingy and some new guestbook thingy as well thats y ive not been updating so frequently. i hope itll be finished soon. that and my car practicals and my bike practicals. i heard that class 2 is going to be damn tough. kinda scared... LoLz! busy me.... i have 4 birthdays this week. ah guans, mingtings, jacksons and ah zhens but im only celebrating jacks and ah zhens. damn. im going for lessons at bbdc 2mr anyone wanna meet up after that? anyway im outta here. ciaoz...

2003-01-19T13:50:00.000+08:00

i was really happy yesterday although our outing to sunsetbay wasnt really fun coz it was raining all the way (anyway we only went in at 4+) but i dunno it was fun altogether. b4 that i was in school n colin said he wanted to join mi... so i followed him back to yishun and also to fetch yingxiu. when we reached sentosa it started to rain. well actually it rained while we were reaching. didnt really have much fun there but after ssb we went to eat at tiog bahru n after that queenstown club.. oh ya MAN UTD WON !!!! LoL so happie. forlans the man man ..very nice goal from him in injury time. after that sent yingxiu home n went home miself. tried to enter sthg in the journal yesterday but this site was down. sighz. i need to learn more html. anyone interested to teach me? was supposed to go to church 2dae but it was raining (excuse?) and furthermore i was damn tired (as usual). its raining now and im going to play soccer lata. so hungry. i guess ill go get sthg to eat 1st ..

2003-01-17T14:14:00.000+08:00

im just damn sleepy....

2003-01-15T23:40:00.000+08:00

oops havent been updating for quite sometime.... just came back from holland where alvin, qilin n yongfu helped me to change the colour of my bike....again! hehe i think at the rate im going ill change colour every mth...anyways i just cant believe my luck. jensen (guy in charge of my project room) is always picking on me.. eg late arrival, attitude in lab etc (mr jensen if youre reading this no hard feelings) but i really think that hes a wee bit prejudiced (xim peh :)) against mi. sighz.

Oh yah and Dass (guy from my lab who insists hes an alien and cant shave or else the universe will be in peril) is getting more nd more funny. the other day we asked him if hes from earth n he said no n could walk thru walls. so we dared him and u guessed it he rammed into the wall. another time he was having trouble with his unigraphics drawing so we told him that if he went outside the room n danced infront of a group of people that were outside, we'd help him. and guess what .. he really did. i tell ya that guy is bloody cock!!! i cant frick stand him.. ok gtg sleep. school tomor...nitez..

2003-01-11T12:09:00.000+08:00

i found this to be very meaningful:

"The wolves within"

One day, grandson came home feeling angry and started throwing his temper
as he has been wrongly accused in school...
Grand father smiles and said " I too, at times, have
felt a great hate for those that have taken so much,
with no sorrow for what they do.... But hate wears you
down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking
poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have
struggled with these feelings many times."

He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside
me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in
harmony with all around him and does not take offense
when no offense was intended. He will only stand up for justice when
it is right to do so, and in the right way."

"The other one pa?"ask grandson curiously..

"Oh.. the other wolf ! He is full of anger. The
littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He
fights everyone, all the time, for no reason, enjoying conflicts & disharmony He
cannot think because his anger and hate are so great.

It is hard to live with these two wolves inside
me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes
and asked, .."Which one wins, Grandfather?"

The Grandfather solemnly said, "The one I feed son... The one i feed...."

2003-01-09T18:02:00.000+08:00

im alone in the com lab. not like yesterday where everyone was doing OVERTIME. they've all finished their slideshows but im still stuck. damn i think ill be going home at around 10 tonite. good thing the school's macdonalds will be opened till then. ^__^ actually i find that i can do more being alone and its just so peaceful, not to mention creepy in my lab.(the surroundings are all glass panels which all are vacant rooms)

oh ya i have to tell you that my dad is really an expert cockroach killer. he just helped me kill one last night. dunno why im seeing so many cockroaches recently but anyway he just knocked the cockroach onto the floor with a fly swat and the critter didnt even try to escape. and that was when my dad layed-the-smack-down on it. priceless i tell ya.

still havent renewed my license. still havent finish my report (presentations tomoro). so many things to do arghhh!

2003-01-08T09:42:00.000+08:00

im sick again. i keep slipping in and out of the flu bug. maybe its the season now. anyway we went for pizza yesterday and eugene bought a PS 2. the good thing for mi is that i get to keep one of his controllers coz beng spoilt one of them. yaay. -__- i left my bike in school yesterday and i dunno if its wheel clamped. damn better go check. can you believe my luck? it was and is still raining heavily todae good thing i didnt ride home yest. thats about it.

2003-01-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

i felt wierd lighting up today. ive not taken a puff for 2 days already and it felt strange today. hmm maye it was a sign. haha so many things happened today. first up was my medical checkup in the morning. went down to cmpb for my checkup. i suddenly feel so "armynated" man (something like alienated). Looking at some nerds while at checkup (no offence here pls dont hack into my computer) i just found them really funny while they were down to their *ahem* bare essentials. not to say that i look good myself but theres really something about them that makes you wanna laugh. maybe its the specs or maybe its the innocent blur look. i dunno. haha =X but really the fun part wasnt looking at the nerds (as much as i wanna say it was) but it was the part where you go into the room and this medical officer asks you some questions like:
a) are u part of a gang
b) have u joined gangs before
c) are you homosexual
i mean reading this now u might think im mad coz they're normal questions but really that combined with the facial expression of the officer asking me that, i couldnt help but sneer. i tell ya if i had no respect for him id laugh straight away coz i find that really amusing. all in all i rate my visit to the CMPB a 9/10. if youre bored and hav no where to go i think you might as well head down there for hours (5 hours to be exact) of fun.
i just spoke to laura just now and she said that smoking is for people with no self confidence. that set me thinking. is that really true? sometimes yes but sometimes what cn you do about it. sighz. i really wanna quit sometimes. maybe somethings wrong with me these few weeks. i havent been myself lately and have been having short bursts of temper to some of my friends (sorrie). i just feel that i need some time to sort thing out.i cant really explain this feeling ......

2003-01-05T11:51:00.000+08:00

im sick o_O" sighz. duno what i ate on friday night but after dinner i had a fever. nevertheless i went out yesterday (saturday) with ah hoe to get his new speakers from sim lim. lata met the rest at coffee bean at forum. i was really feeling sick man. anywayz i tried my best to tahan till it was time to go and took a train home. yupz i didnt ride yesterday. ah beng finally booked his TP and its on the 24th of this month. all the best dude! im now waiting for the glenn and rod show to start. oh by the way did you know that man utd won 4-1 ?? hahaha

i really feel that im not really doing much these days as in im very procrastinative. im suppos'd to go for my driving lessons and i really think i'll get my class 2 license before i get my driving one even though i have already enrolled for the class 3 one but not the class 2 (feburary 19th) another thing is my project. everyday i just go to school and surf the net and go for self declared breaks. damn. i gotta do something about this man ..

2003-01-03T09:47:00.000+08:00

i finally got my cheque from singtel!! now i can return jackson money and go shopping. sighz. i really want to buy the 7650. but someone told me to wait coz there'll be new phones coming out in the 1st quarter of this year. hmm. im so tired after yesterday. i went to bugis, farrer and west coast. furthermore i have to do OT lata coz my project work isn't finished yet. *yawn*

2003-01-02T09:22:00.000+08:00

yaay! i made it to school! ^__^

2003-01-02T00:45:00.000+08:00

hello 2003!! i think im abit late though. woah, yesterday's or rather tuesday nights 2003 new year celebrations were a blast. it was so damn happening at sentosa i enjoyed myself thoroughly. went to meet jasmine in the afternoon to pass her the tix then headed down for sentosa. most of our friends didnt come till around 8-9+ we stayed till about 4+ before going out to the mainland. had "supper" at fong seng and went to muzzies house to stay. i was too tired to ride home. woke up at around 4 and played abit of playstation afterwhich we headed for bukit timah. i left my bike at his house though coz it was raining so heavily. i think ill go get it tomoro after school. yeah school. so boring. i really dont think i can get up tomoro but i really have to .. sigh but anyway im just happy that 2003 is here. hope that everything i wish for will come true..

2002-12-30T13:54:00.000+08:00

its settled then. we're going to sentosa for new years eve party. yingxiu on the other hand wants to go to the ministry of sound party at expo. girls.... anyway lata i think we're meeting to buy the tix. very sleepy again todae. s'posed to go school but overslept again. i think im in deep shit now. ive been slacking on my project lately and havent done anything much. im just very lethargic these days. furthermore yesterdays soccer took a hell lot out of mi. too nuah to do anything now. maybe ill go back to sleep. ah yes sleep. thats sounds good. =)

2002-12-29T14:11:00.000+08:00

i just woke up. -_- havent been sleeping well for the past 2 days coz every nite been coming haome at 4+ 5+. Friday nite went to marina south to play arcade!! hahaha can u imagine the 8 of us just specificly go there to play arcade? i saw my long lost friends and we chatted for a while.
And yesterday (saturday) we went to sunset bay. havent been there for about a month and a half. see so many unfamiliar faces. summore our group all so white now!! LoL. anyway im really happy to be back at ssb coz most of us dont really have time during the hols coz all working. anyway yesterday was the 1st time i played beach soccer there. damn hard to play in the sand. after that we went to tiong bahru market to eat and after that to queenstown club. very seh while riding home. so sleepy.

2002-12-27T13:55:00.000+08:00

ok well this is my first entry. i think it be rather lenghty though. im in my project lab now. havent started on anything yet todae and its 1350 right now! man what have i been doing for the past 5 hrs?!?! actually im in no mood to do anything todae. simply so damn tired. went to bukit timah yesterday with the guys for some CS. anywayz cally just dropped my bike because she saw it not in the parking lot and wanted to help mi move it in so she called me and i just told her to move it. in the end she dropped it and asked mi to go down to help her to "wake" my bike up. all the while laughing hysterically... what a good day for me. i finally figured out more or less how to post my first message! yaay! =)